Therapy for High-Achieving Women in San Francisco and online throughout California
Therapy for High-Achievers
You look like you have it all together–let’s get you feeling that way.
You, in a nutshell:
You work hard, relentlessly pursue your goals, and never stop striving for more, for better. From the outside, people see someone ambitious, capable, and put-together. Only you know what it really feels like: the pressure never stops, joy is hard to come by, and rest feels undeserved. That loop in your head about how you could have done better and how you might do better moving forward lives rent free in your mind. You’re striving from a place of fear, and it feels like you’ve narrowly avoided failure at every turn.
Therapy can give you the space to slow down, explore the origins of these patterns, and reconnect with what matters to you most.
Sound familiar?
You strive relentlessly, but underneath is a fear of failure, rejection, or not being “enough.”
You have to be the best version of yourself at all times and leave everyone smiling.
Your self-worth feels tethered to your performance and accomplishments.
You push through on the back of harsh self-criticism, convinced it’s what keeps you on track.
Setbacks and mistakes feel like a reflection of who you are.
You don’t let yourself celebrate along the way–success only “counts” when the next milestone is reached (and even then it doesn’t feel all that satisfying).
If something doesn’t come easily, you feel tempted to give up rather than allow imperfection.
Despite your achievements, you still feel like an imposter–you brush off praise and ruminate on criticism.
How I Help
My approach is trauma-informed and influenced by mindfulness, parts work, and somatic therapy.
Here of some shifts we might work toward:
Increase mindfulness awareness: We’ll get curious about your perfectionistic and high-striving parts–honoring their purpose and noticing their toll so you can begin to relate to them differently.
Strengthen your mind-body connection: You’ll learn to recognize and allow feelings when they arise, so you are able to respond rather than react.
Reconnect with your intentions: Instead of striving from a place of fear, you’ll learn to align effort with your core values and your own definition of success.
Practice self-compassion: You’ll learn to take care of yourself when you’re in pain so that you feel more resourced to make the changes you want to make.
Redefine mistakes: You’ll begin to see setbacks as learning moments, not indictments of your character or commentaries on who you are.
Celebrate the process: You’ll learn to pause, honor small wins, and stay present with the process.
This work is not about abandoning ambition. It’s about transforming the way you relate to it, so you can pursue your goals with intention, presence, and self-respect, rather than fear and exhaustion.
“In order to do what you want, you have to know what you’re doing”
– Moshe Feldenkrais
FAQs
-
High-functioning anxiety is anxiety that is often invisible to others. You feel like no one is ever concerned about you because your internal struggles are invisible from the outside–which also prevents you from getting the support you need. You likely receive consistently positive feedback, yet struggle with a sense of self-doubt, overthinking, or the feeling you are not doing enough.
-
High-achievers often build a sense of worth around their ability to function highly, remain independent, and meet or rise above expectations. The price of maintaining this sense of worth is a high level of anxiety that shows up in the form of perfectionism, over-preparation, or rumination. Because these patterns are reinforced by success and praise, the anxiety feels dangerous to let go of (and asking for help feels threatening).
-
Per the therapy cliche–it all starts in childhood. This doesn’t mean you had uncaring or “bad” parents–it just means your childhood home is where you learned how to relate to yourself and others. A family is a system that seeks homeostasis like any other, and each member unconsciously adopts roles and traits that help maintain this. Therapy is not about placing blame–it’s about gaining a better understanding of the adaptations you had to make to survive, and learning to create some space between these adaptations and who you are at your core.
-
No–the goal isn’t to lower your standards, but to find a way to pursue excellence without shame, and separate what you do from who you are.
-
Therapy looks different for every client–I try to tailor my approach to each individual’s unique needs and preferences. First, we will get to know each other, and I will try to learn more about your history. Together we’ll start to get curious about your patterns and core beliefs, and give voice to the things that feel hardest to say out loud. I work relationally, so our relationship and what arises in the present between us will serve as a lab for studying all relationships in your life. If you are interested in EMDR, we will create a treatment plan based on your goals and begin to follow the 8 phase protocol. It all depends on what works best for you.
Starting Therapy is easy
01.
Get in touch by filling out this quick form here.
02.
We’ll schedule a time to chat and make sure we’re a great fit.
03.
Start therapy and begin to explore a new way of being.
Hi, I’m Annie
I like to show up prepared, execute things well, and achieve the goals I set. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, and I like this about myself. But there is also a shadow side to these traits that left me feeling anxious, internally conflicted, and ultimately exhausted. I understand this struggle from the inside out. If you’re at a point in your life where you’re ready for something different, I’ve got you. Let’s explore how you can continue to work toward your ambitions with more energy, a greater sense of groundedness, and a clearer, more aligned vision.